I shared a 15 page screenplay idea with my friend Alex. It wasn't much - a story about a fixer. Someone who was trained as a boxer by his super tough dad and now is cleaning up messes for bad people.
Alex read it, a true gift since getting anyone to read your work is nearly impossible, and said it was worth continuing. That was enough for me.
Then Covid hit. While a bunch of my friends were learning how to make sourdough bread I read a bunch of pulp detective novels that inspired the story and focused on screenwriting.
Having actors read my work on Zoom was not ideal but it was wonderful hearing great actors read my work. I was satisfied and ready to move on to the next project - maybe part two of this story but hard to say since I usually can't keep my interest on a project for too long.
Alex told me that I needed to continue to work on this. He has been acting for decades and he told me that this was better than 90% of the projects he has ever worked on.
I appreciated that but I wasn't going to do anything beyond keep it on my hard drive. Luckily Alex didn't accept that. He shared my script with his friend Alberto Bonilla, who insisted on meeting me for drinks.
The two of them explained to me what they envisioned in this project. They saw an opportunity to make a story that would be sexy, fun and old school action. "I see this as "Fight Club" meets Jason Bourne" is what Alberto told me.
What could I say after such an amazing pitch? I agreed that I would figure out how to make this movie:
- I'd write and produce the film and learn the basics of filmmaking as a production assistant
- Alberto would direct and cast
- Alex would play the lead role and serve as the executive producer.
Alberto had actors in mind and we got them all together to do a live table read. It felt absolutely amazing to have people together to hear this. The last table read on zoom was fine but it was actors that I know and didn't know each other. This time it was actors who all knew Alberto so they had a common thread. That and the live reading made a world of difference in how everyone collaborated. The script felt fresher and funnier than I realized simply by virtue of the choices the actors made and the fact that we were all just enjoying the summer day and the freedom.
The plan had been to make the movie during the summer. Then the SAG strike happened. That meant that none of the actors could participate in making the movie. I could have, in theory, still made the movie but I would have had to find completely different actors and a new director. That wasn't going to happen so I had no choice but to wait another year.
This summer came and it finally happened. I flew the nine of us (seven actors, the director and assistant director) down to Tampa. We all stayed at my uncles house, where we also filmed the movie.
It was a large house and half of the actors were busy acting for most of the day. The actors that weren't busy were able to go to the beach or relax. So it didn't feel overly crowded in the house.
The house is designed to accommodate large vacation groups so it worked well. We all were in a spirit of camaraderie and shared mission. Every single person there was there as a labor of love.
I had a vague idea of how expensive this project would be but that intellectual understanding does not really convey to you the horror of seeing your credit card skyrocket to its limit in less than three weeks.
Despite all of that I know for a fact that I got a significantly far better part of the deal from everyone.
Everyone knew that I could not pay them in a way that adequately compensated them for their time and effort. But they were willing to forgo the financial compensation for the psychic compensation of working on a project that they enjoyed.
Every single person was enjoying working on the project. Nobody was there for the money. Everybody was putting in 100% of what they could. Nobody was phoning it in. Nobody was coasting. Nobody had to be told what to do or where to be or anything. There was no weak link in the entire group.
I'm not an economist but I think the difference between this kind of expense is that there is more than a purely financial transaction going on. Yes I was paying people and they were doing work for money but everyone was emotionally invested and so they were doing more than they would have if this were purely a financial transaction. That isn't something we have experience with on a regular basis. We tend to dislike mixing friends and finances but in this case the money wasn't a stumbling block. It was necessary but it wasn't the only reason that everyone was working together.
I had an entire week of this beautiful experience. No real job could possibly ever compare.
Don't get me wrong. I love teaching and I have colleagues that are incredibly important to me who have made me into a better teacher, and therefore, a better human being. But I see them from 8 am - 3 pm and then I go home.
For this one week we worked twelve hour days and then had dinner together and then hung out until we all crashed, only to wake up 5-6 hours later to repeat. I have never spent an entire week with a group of people like this. The closest equivalent would be to combine the best parts of college age life changing road trip with thanksgiving and you get kind of close to the feeling.
As I think through this my backpacking trips through Europe hold the same kind of romantic sway in my psyche as making this movie. But that is different because I was simply exploring and taking things in I wasn't creating something.
I had only vaguely seen this once in my life before. I was nine years old the last time I got to feel something vaguely like this.
I was the lead actor of a movie called New York Stories back in 1987.
I was nine years old. I had managed to get through five nationwide auditions to play the role of Abu, the richest boy in the world. I was selected for the part and I got to spend something like three months working with Francis Ford Coppola.
My memory of the event is a bit of a blur. I think I worked on it for three months but honestly I am not sure. I know that we had a teacher work with us to make up for lost school time. We were in school while the grown ups rehearsed and then after our abbreviated school morning we would rehearse in the afternoon.
Filming consisted of incredibly long days but I don't recall minding it too much. I had the vaguest idea that something huge was happening.
The act of being in that movie transformed me - how could it not? It is something that continues to resonate in my psyche to this day. It was the single most pivotal and valuable work I had ever done.
Until making this movie.
My movie obviously can't compete financially with what I did back as a child. But there I was a piece of someone else's story. This past month I got to see fifteen people work 12 hour days to create my story.
This isn't ego talking to say that I can't begin to describe just what all of that means.
While I certainly hope that people will enjoy watching the movie when it comes out I know for 100% that this movie was a success simply because it has been shot. The act of bringing together people and moving them and guiding them into creating something is so beautiful that I consider myself honored to have just played a part of it.
The movie editing is ongoing. This is the unglamorous part of the process. I vaguely understood that this process takes a long time but I had no idea how long and how much time and effort goes in to this process.
But it reminds me that completing any kind of major project in life consists of small and persistent steps. Those steps don't necessarily feel like they are progress; it is an act of faith that if you continue to make forward progress you will eventually arrive at some destination that is hopefully close to what you envisioned.
This entire project is the result of taking thousands of steps forward towards a goal. The goal of "make a film" was vague and far away but I have walked that journey now. I walked it extremely slowly for a few years. Then I sprinted in August with as much speed as I could muster. Now I am jogging at a consistent pace. I don't know when this will be complete but I know that I will arrive at the finish line at some point.
I still love teaching. I want to be able to have a life where I work on creative projects at a low but consistent intensity during the school year to make progress and then working at greater intensity during the summer. This would be a life that I would be proud to have.
Ultimately the best reward for playing a game well is that you can continue to play the game at a higher level. If I can continue in the creative process then I will consider this to be a success no matter what happens.
I look forward to keeping you all posted in 2025 when Tabula Rasa premieres!
What else am I working on?
I continue to do my charity work with the Elham Fund - I am proud to say that we have raised about $100,000.00 to help families in Gaza. If you're interested in learning more read my work in the link below:
Elham Fund
I am back at work on my Gymnastics Strength Training after a long hiatus! I had several injuries but now I am back up to snuff. My goal is to get strong enough to do a handstand without any assistance. I'll be filming weekly progress videos on that to help me in that quest!
My book, sketching for science, is making great progress. I have an editor who is hard at work showing me the hundreds of errors I have made and helping make it less terrible. Sketching for science will take up a lot of my future writing here.
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